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Post by Donkey Kong on Jan 8, 2017 20:48:07 GMT -5
76ERS GOING WILD
It seemed odd when construction men were enlarging the front door of the 76ers press conference auditorium last week but after the sudden appointment of almighty Donkey Kong Jr. it all started to make sense.
"happy team vision afraid carter williams not good comeback"
DK's 1st words as Philadelphia General Manager did not make much sense due to an intermittent phone connection as the big fellow was on an air plane flying from the Amazon jungle but later on, he had a chance to rectify himself.
"76ers is an interesting challenge but I am going to fail on a whole new level. It is not like I am getting paid to win. And I intend to bring prodigy Michael Carter Willams back home."
Kong definitely sounded disturbed after learning that he was not going to get paid because he lacks proper human documentation. After long hours of negotiation, Kong agreed to take over the 76ers if he was allowed to keep his own trademark tie on.
In other words, if you live in Philly start following another sport and if you want to buy a tie be careful because there is going to be a lot of crap in the marker.
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billy
 Miami Heat
Posts: 7,174
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Post by billy on Jan 8, 2017 21:09:26 GMT -5
lol what
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Post by Donkey Kong on Jan 10, 2017 0:25:57 GMT -5
DK KO
After only 4 days, 3 trades, 1 release and 1 failed signing attempt, 76ers President of Basketball Operations Bryan Colangelo has decided to inexplicably terminate the Kong experiment.
"Mister Donkey Kong does not understand 76ers culture and for that reason, we decided to let him go. If he thinks he can come in and do 3 transactions in 3 days, he is clearly mistaken. That's not how we do things. We take things slow." commented Colangelo on his unilateral decision.
Donkey Kong will be immediately replaced by old 76ers GM, Sam Hinkie.
"It is good to be back. I certainly have big plans for this team and I am glad the league has finally got someone in charge that understand the importance of tanking." expressed Hinkie after the signing of his new contract.
The appointment doesn't come without controversy given that Colangelo and Hinkie were photographed just 2 days on a local bar drinking whisky.
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Post by Gregg Popovich on Jan 10, 2017 1:17:27 GMT -5
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Post by Donkey Kong on Jan 26, 2017 14:13:39 GMT -5
ISIAH!
With a record of 1-8 after Kong's departure, Sam Hinkie seemed to have tanking under contract but once again the NBA top administrators would not allow Sammy to do what he knows best. For that reason and without press conference nor a reasonable explanation, Hinkie was released again from his GM position with the 76ers. Surprisingly, Bryan Colangelo thought that the right man to take over at this critical moment was no other than NBA legend and old Knicks manager Isiah Thomas.
"Do I think I am prepared for this challenge? Probably not. Do I think we will win a championship? Hell yeah." commented Thomas just after the news came out.
Isiah certainly did not explain how he was planning to win a championship and he seemed clueless most of the time but luckily for him, Donkey Kong was around to help him for the week as pretty much half of the league knows by now.
"He was still under contract for the month and we don't really care about this and that right now so yeah, that's about it." expressed Colangelo on DK being around.
2 transactions and 1 free agent signing have been made since Thomas' appointment which comes as a big surprised since all Thomas and DK have been doing for the last 2 days was trying to come up with a reasonable explanation to convince Russ Smith to play at SF.
"I have very limited options as it is and I wont allow these 2 clowns to mess up my career by playing me at a bigger man position."
Kong did not arrive at the 76ers facilities this morning so it seems like DK stay might last shorter than the expected week.
"Isiah doesn't need me. He will be fine on his own. Sure, his previous experience with Knicks left fans waiting for more but this time he has a plan. Over the last 2 days, he proved to be good enough for the job." responded DK.
So there you go, 76ers fans. Isiah is in charge and it is time for you to enjoy the ride hopefully. :P
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Post by Donkey Kong on Feb 3, 2017 22:40:45 GMT -5
WT? DID JUST HAPPENED!
After his glorified appointment, GM Isiah Thomas went missing only to find out a week later that he decided to sign with a Chinese team instead. Reports indicate that Isiah already speaks perfect mandarin.
Because of the shock, Philly management had no other choice but to sign Donkey Kong back but not everything might be as bad as it sounds. Fact is that Kong's previos experience in Philadelphia was brief but long enough to find what could be a hidden gem in Tim Hardaway Jr. and for that reason there should be hope about the future of the team. On recent weeks, the son of NBA legend Tim Hardaway, has been proving that he just might be ready to take his game to the next level.
"Just after I became unemployed I started doing yoga and I feel like my new level of relaxation will help me out in all sort of ways during this new experience." stated Kong on relation to his new opportunity as 76ers GM.
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